You have probably heard this before from a coach or consultant in some type of seminar or presentation: 55% of communication is non-verbal (body language), 38% is vocal (tone, inflection, etc...), and only 7% is the actual words that you use. At least that’s what the wannabe self-help gurus would like you to believe. The reality is…
In 1971, Dr. Albert Mehrabian published a study on communication. The good doctor, a psychologist, released a study that concluded the impact of a message should be classified as 55 percent non-verbal cues (like hand gestures, facial expressions, etc...), 38 percent vocal (like your tone, inflection and such) and ONLY 7 percent the actual words. This means that 93 % of communication is NOT words!
This study has been quoted so many times by so many consultants that most people believe it to be accurate. It is NOT even close to accurate. The study is broken.
The study is broken for two reasons. First, it doesn’t take into account the realities of today’s modern communication, namely e-mail and texting. Second, it fails to take into consideration who the audience and listener are and their social environment. Position, image and relationship are the critical facets in ANY form of communication.
Looking at the first reason, what are today’s most common forms of communication, both in business and personal life? Yep, phone, e-mail and text! We communicate this way all the time with our friends, family and business associates.
When we talk on the phone, where are your non-verbal cues? Where’s the body language? Nowhere! 55% is gone! And where are the tonality and inflexion when we are texting and e-mailing? Nowhere! 38% is gone! All you have is words. They are critical to your successful communication. Words account for FAR more than the 7% we are often led to believe.
Looking at the second reason, how many times have you heard a message from a stranger and ignored it, but then when you heard the SAME message from someone you trust, you accepted it? Or how often do you hear a marketing claim and disbelieve it, but then see it mentioned in a blog or website message board and then believe it? This shows how our social environment and relationships affect communication.
You might say, well, the doctor was talking about face-to-face personal communication only. Ok, I’ll buy that. Then why are business gurus today, who know that the vast majority of communication in business is NOT face-to-face, still quoting this study? Because they are just repeating the same old folklore and don’t know any better! Word selection is crucial to your success in business and communication overall.
Examples of how image, position and environment affect a message:
#1: A very successful man that you and most people respect says, “It’s time for you to focus on marketing.”
In this case, you respect the man’s success (image and position) and you are listening to him to get advice (social environment). You will probably accept his message easily.
#2: A guy you just met selling ad space says IN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY, “It’s time for you to focus on marketing.”
In this case, you barely know the man, and you are on guard because you think he has an agenda of selling ad space. You will probably be very leery of him AND his message even though it’s the same message as in #1.
The image and position of the person, as well as, the fact that one of them is trying to sell you something changes how you take the message. How can we overcome these image and/or environmental issues? Word selection!
#3: A guy selling ad space RE-WORDED: “Right now, all the marketing gurus like, (insert guru that you respect), are telling us to focus on marketing.” That will be taken much better since he is now attributing the message to someone you respect. Which words have a better chance of moving you, #2 or #3? Obviously #3!
This all may seem like common sense, but then why do so many believe Dr. Mehrabian’s study? They haven’t tried to break the folklore. It sounds good, so they keep teaching it.
Your words hold more power than you think, so think carefully and choose them wisely.
Examples of how you are accepted by your word selection:
You are late for a meeting.
#1 – “Sorry, I’m late.”
#2 – “I was delayed, please excuse me.”
In #1, you are seen as irresponsible, disrespectful or a knucklehead
In #2, you are almost a victim. Poor you, you got delayed by some terrible thing outside your control.
How would you prefer to start a meeting with a prospect?
You want to speak from your heart.
#1 – “Can I be honest?”
#2 – “May I be forward?”
In #1, it seems like you’ve been guarded all along. Maybe there isn’t that much rapport after all?
In #2, it seems like you have rapport and want to open up more. You’ve been truthful the whole time, but now you want to have a deeper connection.
Which way do want a prospect to think about you?
In business, word selection is your most power tool over ANYTHING else! Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Choose your words carefully, both connotatively and denotatively, and you will be more successful.
Good luck!
- Larry
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