Neo-Sage Nickel

Tis the Season of...Pain?!

Yes, many of us know that this is a season of both joy and pain.  With the economy the way it is, there will probably be more pain than usual.  So when we hear someone talk of their pain, we should obviously tell them to count their blessings and look at the good things they have, right?  NOPE!  That often makes things worse.  What we should do is…

 

First acknowledge their pain.  Whether or not we feel that their pain is valid or taken out of proportion, it doesn’t matter.  To them it’s real pain.  In fact, whatever pain you have, someone thinks it’s minor, but to you it’s major. 

 

DISCLAIMER - THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT CLAIM TO CURE DEPRESSION OR ANY OTHER MENTAL CONDITION. NOR DOES IT CLAIM TO TAKE THE PLACE OF A COMPETENT MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL. THIS IS TO SHOW THE READER HOW TO HANDLE THE OFTEN AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS THAT BEGIN WITH HEARING SOMEONE’S PAIN/PROBLEMS. 

 

If you do not acknowledge the pain and just start with the common, “Come on, look on the bright side, you have…..”  Or worse, “Hey!  Some people have it worse because…” You probably have done several bad things: 

 

1. You’ve just invalidated the person’s feelings.
2. You’ve shown them that you don’t “get them” and therefore you’ve broken rapport.
3. If you are close to the person, now they feel stupid or selfish for having their worries.  If they are depressed, now it’s worse.
4. If the person was trying to confide in you, they may never try it again and you may have limited a potentially close relationship.

 

Well done!?

 

So, acknowledge the pain and then DO NOT try and fix it or make it better.  Just ask a question about it.  This shows that you hear them and that you are interested.

 

Example:

 

Friend: “Wow!  This year has been really tough.  I don’t know how I’m gonna make it next year.”

 

You (BAD):                 “Cheer up.  At least you got your health.  Bob Jones lost his job and he had to check into rehab!”

 

You (GOOD): Yeah.  That sucks.  What are you thinking about doing?

 

This will not magically make them better, but they will feel like you are “with” them.  They probably will not button up and may even vent some more.

 

Once they talk, listen and nod a lot (say, “uh-huh” often, if you are on the phone) until they are done.  If possible, tell them about another person who has a similar problem/concern AND who is ALSO WORRIED.

 

Example:

 

Friend:  “I’m not sure.  I may need to change careers.  My resume isn’t up to speed yet.” Etc…

 

You: (BAD):  “You know Bill Smith decide to go back to school.  That’s your answer.  You should just go back to school like Bill.”

            Again you’ve invalidated his feelings and his problems.

 

You: (GOOD):  “Uh-huh.  You know Bill Smith lost his job too.  He’s worried just like you.  He was telling me about some of his friends who feel the same way too.”

            This broadens the blow so he may not take it so personally and validates his feelings.

 

Then ask if he needs any assistance with something.  You may even offer some if you see an obvious way.  This should NOT be assumed or forced.  It must be an option for him to deny if he wants to.  It is the thought here that matters more than the actual help.  Of course, make the offer real in case he does want it!

 

Example:

 

Friend:            I don’t know.  Maybe I should just look into becoming a cupcake squiggle inspector.

 

You: (BAD):  I’ll have you meet with Jane Johnson.  She’s a cupcake squiggle Inspector recruiter.  I’ll call her and set a meeting on Monday.  Also, you should call my brother.  He was one out of college.  I’ll have him call you tomorrow.

            He may just be venting, he may not want help, he may just be upset and grasping at straws!

 

You: (GOOD):  OK.  Well, if you want, I know some people in the industry.

            Let him decide if he wants your help.

 

If he doesn’t want your assistance, leave it alone and move on to another subject.  You are NOT doing him a favor by trying to solve his problem.  Things will just become awkward. 

 

Tell a positive story about someone else - not you or him.  It could be anything, just positive and try to move on.

 

So remember:

 

Acknowledge

Ask

Nod

Broaden the Blow

Offer

Nice Story

Move on!

 

Good luck!

 

Larry

If He wins the election, the country is doomed!

You must have heard this type of rhetoric before!  After almost two years of campaigning, we have heard more negative rhetoric than ever.  And we will hear more in the coming elections for many more years.  It’s not going away.  The question is, “Does is work?”  The answer is…

 

YES.  That’s why we use it.  But, there is a caveat.  Finding the flaws in the “competition” can be effective, as long as there is only one competitor and the flaws are huge.

 

DISCLAIMER- THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT TAKE A STANCE ON THE CAMPAIGNING OF EITHER CANDIDATE NOR ON THE ETHICS OF NEGATIVE CAMPAIGNING IN GENERAL.  THIS IS TO SHOW HOW NEGATIVITY, IN THE RIGHT ENVIRONMENT, CAN INFLUENCE THOSE AROUND YOU. 

 

There are many ways to get someone to “pick” you, whether in a political campaign, a sales event, deal making or in your personal life.  We can show our value, we can use guilt or we can show the horrors of not picking us.  Negative campaigning is a form of showing the horror.  All can and do work, but here are the issues with negative campaigning.

 

1 – It works well when there is only one other option.  Examples:

 

          You are the obvious choice in a sales event, so it’s you or no one.

          There are only two choices at a movie theater at your time slot.

          The two party political system.

 

2 – The negativity MUST be harsh AND/OR personal, otherwise it isn’t heard.

 

          If the prospect doesn’t pick you she may lose her job.

          If you see movie A, you’ll never see movie B in the theater because it’s the last day showing.

          If Candidate X wins, your family will be directly affected negatively.

 

In the case of a sales event, if there are many vendors available and you are able to show the flaws of the current vendor, (as many sales trainers teach), you have only proven that the current guy is no good - NOT that you are good.  The prospect will probably link the negativity to you (feel badly about you), take your advice and go with someone else.

 

However, if you are the only competitor (either you’ve been vetted through proposals or RFPs, OR you are the only one who currently provides the service, OR you are the obvious choice for some other reason), then showing the flaws in the current vendor WILL shift opinion in your favor.  In fact, if the flaws are major, it will help alleviate hesitation and speed up the selection process.

 

Example 1:  “Bob, your competition has used your current vendor, ACME, and because of the lack of XYZ technology, he has been caught in this economy and is going out of business. If you don’t get XYZ technology now, you may follow him.”

 

If you are the only other option, this is VERY powerful. 

 

In the case of a personal situation, if there are many options at the theater and you show the flaws of your partner’s selection, she will surely NOT just agree to your movie.  She may actually purposefully chose another movie that neither of you will be happy with!

 

However, if you are already at the theater, unwilling to travel someplace else and ONLY two movies are playing at this time, then showing the flaws in her original choice WILL shift opinion in your favor.  In fact, if the only other option is to go home, your odds have just gone up even further.  

 

Example 2:  “Sue, the last time we saw a movie with Jane Doe in it, the movie was so bad that we got upset and went right home.  The night was ruined!  Do we really want to see a movie with her in it again?”

 

Again, if the movie you want to see is the only other option, this is VERY powerful.

 

In the case of a political campaign with many choices (most primaries, for example), if you are able to show the flaws of one candidate, you have only proven that one candidate is no good, but NOT that you are good.  The populace will probably link the negativity to you (feel badly about you) and vote for someone else.

 

However, if there are only two choices (most general elections, for example), then showing the flaws of the opponent WILL help shift opinion in your favor.  In fact, if the flaws are major AND personal, it may cause parts of the electorate to ignore ALL other aspects of the election!  

 

Example 3:  “Phil, the last time Candidate Y was in charge of anything, there was terrible corruption.  Wasted money, investigations, embarrassed employees and the entire budget was broken.  Not just that, he cheats on his wife and his taxes.  Can we trust a man like that?  Who would put their trust in him?”

 

Yes, when there is only one other option, this is VERY powerful.

 

In each of these cases, the prospect has to choose the lesser of two evils.

 

NOTE:  We must realize that this is NOT the only way to influence someone. Nor is it the only aspect that influences people. MANY other items will influence the prospect; this is just one (of many) powerful tactics.  In addition, this does not ensure that you will get your way.  It adds to your odds and helps stack the deck in your favor.  Any good influence process must use many tactics and strategies.

 

So, if you find yourself in any of these situations, understand that “negative campaigning” can work for you OR may be used ON YOU!

 

Hopefully this helps you to see it.

 

Good luck!

 

Larry

$700 Billion Bailout – Should McCain and Obama have voted “Yes”?

Was the passing of the Bailout Package the right move?  Did either McCain or Obama believe it to be?  What will be the final outcome?  More importantly to them - how will their vote affect their careers?  The reality is that for their personal good, NEITHER should have voted for it!

 

DISCLAIMER - THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT TAKE A STANCE ON THE VALUE OF THE RECENT BAILOUT PACKAGE.  THIS IS TO SHOW HOW YOU MUST SERIOUSLY CONSIDER YOUR PUBLIC STANCES IN BOTH YOUR BUSINESS AND PERSONAL LIFE OR YOU MAY FIND YOUR INITIAL THOUGHTS CAN REALLY HURT YOUR SUCCESS IN THE FUTURE.

 

Here is why for McCain.

 

Everyone in Congress knew that some kind of bailout would go through.  Therefore whether McCain votes Yes or No, it would still pass.  So:

 

If McCain voted “Yes” and:

            The package works – he is lumped in with everyone else – no big deal. In fact, some would criticize him because of the “Pork” in the bill that he voted for.

            The package fails – he is punished because he was wrong, had bad judgment and wasted the taxpayer money.

            Little upside, and big chance for downside - bad idea!

 

If McCain voted “No” and

            The package works – the whole thing is basically forgotten because things are better and we can focus on other matters.  If it does come up he can stand on his ethics of “NO PORK” that’s why it was a bad bill.  Some would still praise him.

            The package fails – he gets to say “See, I told you so.”  He is seen as a cost cutter and true statesmen who cares about the American taxpayer.  His next idea has automatically more merit.

            Little downside and chance for big upside – the better choice!

 

Here is why for Obama.

 

Again, everyone in Congress knew that some kind of bailout would go through.  Therefore whether Obama votes Yes or No, it would still pass.  So:

 

If Obama voted “Yes” and:

            The package works – he is lumped in with everyone else – no big deal. In fact he may be criticized because of the “Corporate Welfare” in the bill that he voted for.

            The package fails – he is punished because he was wrong, had bad judgment and wasted the taxpayer money.

            Little upside, and big chance for downside - bad idea!

 

If Obama voted “No” and

            The package works – the whole thing is basically forgotten because things are better and we can focus on other matters.  If it does come up he can stand on his ethics of “No Corporate Welfare” that’s why it was a bad bill.  Some would still praise him.

            The package fails – he gets to say “See, I told you so.”  He is seen as a cost cutter and true statesmen who cares about the American taxpayer.  His next idea has automatically more merit.

            Little downside and chance for big upside – the better choice!

 

Their handlers were not thinking clearly.  Both candidates could have told key party members privately that they support it, but need to back away because of the election.  No issue.  Is this always the way?  No, but they should have considered this situation very carefully.

 

So, how does this affect you?  You MUST draw a clear, solid, thick line in between your stances in public and behind closed doors.  You MUST also take a stance, NOT only on the issue, but on the relationships involved.

 

Business Example 1 – You know that the CEO and CFO are going to move forward with a plan for the company that is bad.  Should you say so at the weekly meeting?  Many would say companies do not need YES-MEN, so you should stand up.  In addition, you want to be on the record in case things go badly.  THIS IS COMPLETLEY WRONG!  If you have a problem, go to the CEO and CFO separately and in private and express your concerns.  In the meeting nod your head and smile!  

 

If you speak your mind in the meeting and:

 

The plan fails – even though you were right, you’ve embarrassed your bosses.  You can announce “I told them so!” to you NEW boss as you get passed over for a promotion or you can tell your career counselor at the unemployment office.

 

The plan works – you’ll lose all credibility in the future and your career at that company is now stifled.

 

LOSE – LOSE!  Put your ego in your pocket! 

 

Business Example 2 - You are part of a team of managers under a Director.  You are all competing for promotions/raises.  One manager has an idea to move the company forward.  If it is risky at all, you may want to be against it unless you are really confident that it will work.  

 

If it works, he’ll get credit anyway and you’ll need to find an excuse and then create something great yourself.  If it fails, you can now move your agenda forward, because you were right.

 

 

Family Example – Your significant other gets into an argument with someone at a store.  You saw it start and KNOW that he/she is completely in the wrong.  The right thing to do is to try to talk it out, get your significant other to see what really happened and clear it up maybe even with a n apology.  NO WAY!  Just jump on his/her side!  It doesn’t matter who was right, just support him/her.  Later at home, in private, tell him/her what happened.

 

If you don’t and try to “make it right”:

 

She/he finds out that she/he was actually wrong – They feel dumb in public and you were the messenger.  Oh yes, we love to shoot the messenger.  You can “feel good” by yourself since you won’t be talking at all on the way home!

 

She/he finds out that she/he was actually right – Hopefully you have close friends, because you’ll be sleeping with them that night!   They will feel completely betrayed and that “sting” will last a long time.

 

LOSE – LOSE!  Put your “righteousness” in your pocket.

 

As silly and simple as these sound – WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES LIKE THIS!

 

The most important idea to remember here is NOT whether the idea or argument is right or wrong, but what will the outcomes be when you take a stance.  Otherwise, we as humans are prone to try to “Be Right”.  While that sounds great, it will ensure that we will have poor relationships.  

 

The true secret to a successful life is good relationships (business and family).  So lets’ do what we can to be successful.

 

Good Luck!

 

 

Larry

 

 

Evolution, Creationism or Intelligent Design? No Facts!

Evolution, Creationism or Intelligent Design?  No Facts!

 

How did humans get here?  More importantly, how many people do you know (maybe even you) who very strongly subscribe to a specific answer?  You’d be surprised how most people have come to their conclusion.

 

DISCLAIMER - THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT TAKE A STANCE ON ANY ANSWER TO THE ORIGIN OF HUMANITY. THIS IS TO SHOW HOW PEOPLE OFTEN SUBSCRIBE TO OPINIONS/BELIEFS AND HOW WE CAN ADJUST OUR TACTICS TO INFLUENCE THEM IN OUR EVERYDAY LIVES.

 

If you were to ask three separate groups of 10 people who respectively subscribe to evolution, creationism and intelligent design, “How do you know that this is the answer?”  Most would say something like, “It just makes sense.”

 

If you went deeper and asked (respectively):

 

            “Have you checked the fossil records?”

            “Do you know the entire story of Genesis?”

            “Have you seen the most recent literature?”

 

Nine out of ten would have to answer, “No.”

 

So, regardless of the stance on the issue and regardless of how passionate the person is on the subject, they don’t actually have the facts!   While this may seem odd or silly, it’s actually common.  Most people select stances on any given topic NOT by the facts but by two different influence ideas:  Authority and Social Proof.

 

Authority – We are influenced by people that we believe are in a position of authority.

 

When we see people that WE BELIEVE are powerful, smart or popular making statements, we have a tendency to believe them, even if we don’t know the facts.

 

Example 1:  A special on Discovery Channel has a scientist that has been on TV many times and talks about the fossil records.  He could be an actor and he could be lying, or he could be a real scientist and telling the truth. It doesn’t matter – if YOU respect him, you will probably be moved by his presentation and it will affect your beliefs.

 

Example 2:  A popular televangelist is on a panel and debates/explains how Genesis relates to history.  Again, he could be a fraud and have the facts wrong, or he could be a true theologian and have all the facts right on.  It doesn’t matter – if YOU respect him, this will help shape your beliefs. 

 

In both imaginary cases, you personally don’t know all of the facts, but may have a very strong view.

 

Social Proof – We are influenced by our peer group or groups we feel an affinity for.

 

When we see people who are “just like us” or people that we want to be associated with, think a certain way, we are more likely to follow in their thought process.

 

Example 1:  Close friends/family often make negative comments about “bible thumpers” and take serious stances on the “family tree of nature” and our common ancestors.  If this is your peer group, it will help form your beliefs, even if they have no idea what they are talking about.

 

Example 2:  Co-workers, that you spend a lot of social time with, have a very low opinion of “non- (insert religious group here)” and are very adamant about getting creationism taught in schools.   If these are your peers, they will probably affect your beliefs, even if they don’t have any data.

 

Again, in both imaginary cases, you don’t have all the facts, but may have a hardcore belief.

 

We will even hold views DIRECTLY AGAINST the facts.

 

Example 1:  You see consumer data that shows that product X is better, faster and cheaper than product Y.  You see a report on the news that validates this data.  While shopping, several sales reps agree with the data, as do some customers that you run into.  But, your close friend has product Y and says it’s great and that product X sucks.  If you respect your friend, that ONE piece of data may have a huge impact on you and may cause you to hesitate or even to buy product Y against all the facts. 

 

Example 2:  A politician has a very poor record in your view.  He supports policies in direct opposition to your values and has actually helped enact initiatives that have negatively impacted you personally.  But, he is part of YOUR party.  If you strongly identify with the PARTY, you will probably support him, even though it’s not in your best political interests.  The odds are also much better that you’ll believe him, even if he has lied in the past.

 

So, how does this affect us?  Well, not only is someone’s religious belief system influenced this way, but so is their belief system regarding your product, service, idea or deal!

 

We spend a lot of time trying to get out all the facts in our sales/influence process, but this isn’t all that critical.  We need to use Social Proof and Authority in our process.

 

It may be more effective to show your target how others are using your idea and avoid detailed facts until they are asked for.  These “others” can be those that the target respects (Authority) or those that the target feels are in his peer group (Social Proof).  It’s best if you can show both.

 

Bad example: 

 

You:   See Bob, with this deal you get the GinZoid 5000 with new EverJunk technology.  And it is compatible with Flink 2.0.

 

Target:  ZZZZZZZZZZ….

 

Good example:

 

You:   Bob, this is the same deal that Phil over at ACME is doing.  Not just that, but your mentor Jane at XYZ has also come aboard.

 

Target:  Really, Phil and Jane are doing this?  Tell me more.

 

While facts have their place, let’s not get bogged down with them and try to impress. 

 

Many times people think that facts can be manipulated or that your facts are just claims that can’t be proved.  It may be hard to get around this if your trust level is low due to the targets previous experiences.

 

Therefore, Social Proof and Authority are often far more effective in getting the YES.

 

Good luck!

 

Larry

Obama and a "Clintonian" VP?

Many have commented on the April “Obama to Step Down?” Blog. The outcome was incorrect, but the analysis was right on. With an unpopular president, this should be an easy victory for the Democrats, but it isn’t shaping up that way.

Obama must realize that his victory in the Primary was far from Decisive. In the last big primary in Pennsylvania, after EVERY media outlet proclaimed him the Democratic nominee and after he outspent Hillary 3 – 1 - he still LOST! His campaign announced that the country is clamoring for Obama?! Not even close. In an election that should be a walk in the park for the Democrats, Obama is barely ahead of McCain.

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DISCLAIMER - THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT TAKE A STANCE ON THE CHARACTER OR VALUE OF ANY CANDIDATE. THIS IS TO SHOW HOW TACTICS CAN WORK TO INFLUENCE PEOPLE�(FOR OR AGAINST US) IN�OUR EVERYDAY LIVES, AS WELL AS IN A MAJOR POLITICAL CAMPAIGN.

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The Obama team is making the common mistake of marketing to his mirror. His team is acting like everyone thinks the same way they do. They are still in Chicago Primary mode.

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Going to Europe and trying to make amends for our country's previous actions should go over pretty well in the solid blue states, but it will go over poorly in the swing states of Florida, Michigan, Ohio and Pennsylvania – none of which he won in the Primary! This makes him look radical.

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What are the Democrats thinking? They have put up a candidate that lost CA, NY, TX, PA, FL, NJ, MI, OH and now they are doing nothing to fix this except spending money. That didn’t work in PA and won’t work in the general election. Acting like you are the winner IS important, but it’s not enough.

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In addition, many voters still see McCain as the “Straight Talker” from years ago. Accordingly, a lot of (moderate) Democrats won’t be too upset if McCain wins. While many Republicans would have been unhappy about a Hillary win, they are SCARED TO DEATH of an Obama win.

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This election has gone from a referendum on Bush to a referendum on Obama!

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So, what can he do? Well, he can change his campaign leadership, restart and shift to the middle. If he can act like he was always the President, he can act like he was always in the middle.

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In addition, he needs to pick an executive “Clintonian” VP. This means a Governor, from a key state, who supports Hillary. Examples are:

-Phil Bredesen from TN

-Michael Easley from NC

-Ted Strickland from OH

That will give him a more moderate look with more perceived experience. It will also take some wind out of Hillary’s sails and hopefully get more of her supporters to jump on his side with vigor.

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He must keep all his radical friends/family members OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT. This reinforces his past – so they need stay away. This may help quell the key states get him the win.

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But why does this matter to you?

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In any social group, family, company, nation, the only people who want “the radical change of a newcomer” are those who wanted it BEFORE the newcomer. Therefore the radical does not gain the mainstream by preaching radical change. He simply picks up those who are already predisposed to his side.

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People tend to avoid big change any way they can - even if it’s good change! When Obama first came on the scene, the change idea seemed interesting. But now that it seems real, the rhetoric is becoming scary. He must tone it down and surround himself with some moderates.

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This is true for us in our lives too! If we preach major change, our leaders, co-workers and associates may say, “Sounds great!”, but they will rarely implement. It’s good until it is about it become real.

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The most savvy change brokers preach results with minor change until they get into power then they can begin real change if they need to.

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But, when you market to your mirror, you begin to think that everyone wants the same radical change that you do – they don’t. They are afraid. Your marketing/pitch will begin to scare people and they will join the other side.

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If you want radical change, you must tone down your rhetoric and surround yourself with more conservative seeming people. This will get people to trust your product, service or idea.

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Example 1 – “This will change everything!”

BAD, BAD, BAD! People will either believe you and be scared, or they won’t believe you at all! People will either freeze or actively stop you.

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Example 2 – “This will modify the current system so you can get ………”

This seems far more reasonable AND believable. You can move someone into action and/or build consensus.

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It’s easy to make this mistake when we are very excited about our idea/issue. In addition, when we forget that everyone doesn’t think like we do, we market to the mirror (ourselves).

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“Preach the need for change, but never reform too much at once.”

-Robert Greene, The 48 Laws of Power

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This applies to sales, marketing, family, friends and office politics!

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Good luck.

- Larry

Neo-Sage – Stop Iranian Nukes? Impossible and silly!

But don’t we want to stop Iran from getting nukes?  Isn't Iran a great threat to us?  It doesn’t matter.  We cannot stop them.  It cannot work.  However, we can do something that is much better. 

We can get Iran to not want Nukes.  This is the ultimate form of negotiation.  Dr. Wayne Gertmenian, author of “Everything’s Negotiable” says negotiating is the art of “letting the other guy change his mind.”

DISCLAIMER - THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT TAKE A STANCE ON THE FOREIGN POLICY OF ANY GOVERNMENT.  THIS IS TO SHOW HOW INFLUENCE TECHNIQUES WORK IN BOTH MACRO AND MICRO ASPECTS OF OUR LIVES.

 

Shaking our fist and threatening Iran will NEVER scare them into stopping their nuclear program.  It didn’t stop North Korea, and will never stop any country that is seriously contemplating a Nuclear Program.   We either have to physically invade the country and topple their regime (something that most of us would agree the US is currently simply NOT going to do right now) or we can show them the error of their ways.  

 

We must realize that gaining nuclear weapons is like smoking.  What?  Yes, smoking.  As countries become more and more developed, nuclear weapons seem to be the way to go.  All the cool developed countries have them, so they should too.   It’s like parents telling a teen that smoking’s bad, and that they will punish him for doing it while they light up in front of him.  Will that stop a teen from smoking?  No way.  They will simply find a way to smoke.  They’ll hide it and even if they get caught and punished, they will still find a way to smoke.  The difference is that they will now resent the adult!

 

Developing countries are the same.  Many want nuclear weapons and when the countries telling them to stop, already have them, it doesn’t land well.  In fact, it breeds resentment.  We can strategically bomb them and/or use precision raids, but that will only slow them down.  Just like grounding a teen.  That means by being the “tough guy”, not only will they eventually find a way to get nukes, but since they resent us, the odds of them pointing them at us are increased!  Not the best result, for sure.

 

How about sanctions and isolation?  Let’s not talk to them at all?  The way the world is today, the only people that won’t be talking to them is us!  Europe, Russia, China and India (and many others) will all still talk and trade - so that won’t work.  

 

So, what will work?  We should let Iran know that we will NOT stop them from getting Nukes. We will just make it a whole lot better for them if they don’t.  This nuance is critical.  President Bush has just shown this to work with North Korea.  For many years we’ve been shaking our fist and they kept moving forward.  Now we are back to talking and we have some progress.

The same is true for Iran and any other “rogue” nation.  Our influence must come from:  Here is why it makes sense for you to be Nuke-free.  Here are the benefits from us and the world.  Here is what we promise to do and how our relationship will be better.  But, if you want them, go ahead.  These benefits just won’t be there for you.  They only go to nations that stay Nuke-free.  Otherwise, as so many nations become more and more developed, we run the risk of have having dozens of resentful nations, slowly, secretly creep to nuclear weapons.

How does this translate into our daily lives?  We must be the same way with our business relationships.  If we are prepared to destroy our broken relationships with legal and/or PR action (equivalent of an invasion of a country), then we can if we want to.  If we are not, then threats and posturing rarely work.  We need to show them the value of doing what we want. 

 

Example 1: A client will not pay a bill.

 

Option 1 – “You better pay or I’ll see you in court!” 

 

            Unless the client REALLY believes you’ll sue (invade) you’ll get NOTHING!  And if the client does fear you and does pay, you’ve just broken the relationship, probably forever.  Resentment will ensue EVEN if you were completely in the right!

 

Option 2 – “Look Bob, we have so much more to do together.  We have more business; let’s just get past this bill, so we can move forward.”

 

            Next you have to prove that there really is something else there!  Maybe have a referral from you call him and request a proposal.  Maybe show him a resource that you have for him, etc…  But nothing will “Close” until we get the bill out of the way. 

            This process takes time and will require many contacts, just as the “I’ll sue you!” option does, but it tends to be much more effective in the long run.

             If he doesn’t pay, you can always resort to the “I’ll sue you!” option.  But if he does pay, you can retain the relationship if you want to or remove your referrals and resources and walk away – but with your money.   You can control resentment.

 

Example 2: A client will not complete tasks required to complete a deal.

 

Option 1 – “If you don’t do X, then this isn’t going to happen.  I’m done, this is over.”

 

            Unless you are the only game in town and the client sees this deal as critical right NOW, you will get NOTHING!   And if the client does begin to act, they will feel coerced and threatened and your relationship will suffer.  If the deal goes bad in any way they will blame you.  Again, regardless of whether or not you were in the right, you have fostered resentment.

 

Option 2 – “Look Bob, this deal is critical for you because of AB & C.  You’ve mentioned this several times, right?  Good.  Then to make the next step, WE must ensure that X happens by Y, OK?   So, how can we be sure it will be done?  Great!”

 

            Again, this may take several contacts, just like the “this is over option”.  Both require persistence.  The difference is the “this is over” option will only annoy your client, damaging your relationship.  The “how can we ensure” option will also get him to feel like he should do it, not that you want him to do it.  You can mitigate resentment.

 

As always, keep it about THEM, not about YOU, and you’ll be better able to control your relationships.  The stick works ONLY when they really believe you are ready to swing it, otherwise, use the carrot.

 

As Machiavelli says, “men must be either treated well or destroyed, as they can get revenge for lesser injuries.”

 

Good luck!

 

Larry

Just Wait!

That’s what so many people are saying now.  In this environment, people are in a “let’s wait and see what happens” mode.  Regardless of the deal you are trying to put together (selling, buying, getting hired, getting promoted or merging resources) this economy creates a natural culture of “inaction”.

 

So how do we get around this?  First, we have to realize that this EXTRA fear may seem silly or even self-sabotaging, but it is very natural.  Your prospect’s mental barriers are much higher now due the discomfort of perceived uncertainty.

 

The answer is obviously to find people who NEED your deal, right?  Nope!  Often, the discomfort of moving forward is actually as high as dealing with the need and/or pain associated with it.  So, what you have is status quo mediocrity.  Unfortunately, most people are OK with that, even if it hurts them in the long run.

 

No problem, then let’s show people the pain of inaction, even if they don’t see it, right?  Nope!  That’s a gamble since bringing up negativity may stick on you in their minds.  They may want to “shoot the messenger”.  If fact, if you bring it up too effectively, they may feel dumb.  Then you’ve just insulted them.  Whoops.

 

The critical piece here is to remember that standard “good deals” simply aren’t enough.  In addition, the “here are the benefits to the plan” also, are not enough.  We must delve deeper, and here is an idea.  As always, use your judgment of your prospect base and use your own words and speech patterns.

 

When dealing with companies, it’s very easy for management to simply wait.  They are getting paid as long as the company doesn’t go under, even if the company stays mediocre.  So, look for specific personal buying reasons of the decision makers.  Do not talk about what is best for the companies at all.  Focus completely on what is best for the individuals. 

 

“Jim, moving forward here is going to allow you to retire from this business next year, like you wanted.”

“Jane, when we do this, you’ll look so good to HQ that the promotion is in the bag.”

“Bob, after this deal, you’re going to be able to put enough money away to put Sally, Suzy and Timmy through college.”

 

When dealing with individuals, try to show the value is some non-obvious arena.  Perhaps explain how the deal will help their family or maybe how it will improve them socially somehow.

 

            “Jim, after this, not only are you going to retire, but now you and you wife can take that trip to Spain and renew your wedding vows like she wanted.”

            “Jane, once we do this, you’ll see how much respect the rest of the team gives you.  You’ll see how much more authority you’ll get and how better you’ll be positioned in your career for your next move.”

            “Bob, you’ll see how this is going to give you the time to spend with your kids.”

           

Yes, this may seem odd or awkward, but it will be very effective when up against the standard.  In addition, with so much competition for deals, most of the deals your prospect sees are good deals!  So will yours really stand out enough to spur action without a special way of showing the value?  Odds are not in your favor.

 

So, how do you know what personal or other arena items will be affected?  You must avoid the standard presentations of:

 

            Here’s our history/misson

            Here’s our credentials/what we know

            Here’s who we’ve worked with

            Here’s what we will do for you

 

And move to: 

 

            Here’s what most people like you want – how about you?

            OK.  Here’s what you are going to get

            Here’s why it matters to you

 

We have to gain deep rapport and ask personal questions, veiled as standard, to get real reasons.  Not easy, but worth it.  And, it’s one of the best ways to get someone to ACT.

 

Good luck!

 

Larry

 

How can you motivate your sales Reps? More Money? NOPE!

When it comes to getting your sales force to work harder, most mangers resort to one of two tactics:  Increase compensation (higher commissions) or tighten the reigns (micromanage every move and chastise any error).  As silly as this looks in writing, any of you that have been in sales know how common that really is.

 

ANY effective motivational strategy should be multi-faceted.  We must realize that people act for three basic reasons:  Promise of Gain, Fear of Loss and/or Honor.  You are reading this for one of those reasons – either you think, “If I read this, I’ll learn something good (Promise of Gain). “ or “ If I don’t read this, I’ll miss something important (Fear of Loss).” or “I’m a Neo-Sage Guild Member, so I should read this (Honor).”

 

Your company’s motivational plans should include all three.  Here are several tactics in each category to help motivate your sales force:

 

Honor:

• Have Reps set their own goals (supervised). This allows them to have real buy-in and commitment. They will feel more responsible and are more likely to go the extra mile.
• Have a crystal clear process (company-wide) for ALL to follow for sales. This gives Reps a feeling of being part of a winning plan and a system that supports them.
• Whenever possible, promote/grant authority from within. This is an obvious one that is often overlooked. This gives everyone the feeling that they can grow here.

Fear of Loss:

 

• TEAM competitions. These are rarely done, but very powerful. They instill the fear of losing personally, but also the worry of letting others down. In addition, it will build some Esprit de Corp AND show company leadership which Reps are NOT team players and therefore may not be good for management.
• Hold Reps accountable (CONSISTENTLY) on a periodic basis. Inconsistency in accountability is a HUGE problem. Consistent periodic accountability gives reps constant mini-deadlines and spurs them into action.
• Have a long and arduous process to become a new Rep. This means that new Reps will value their positions more and accordingly work harder to keep them.

 

Promise of Gain:

 

• Reps should see a GRAPHIC representation of their progress. This allows them to easily visualize their current and future success so they will want to make it happen. In addition, they can clearly see when they need to "step it up."
• Give out company resources to those who excel. This give the Reps another reason to achieve and it is a reason that their peers can see.
• PUBLIC awards/recognition. This is another obvious one, but it is also often overlooked. Most people feel that the good check is enough. FALSE. Social proof is good for the Rep, his peers and the company as a whole.

Remember, money ALONE is a poor motivator.  Money along with something else, is a VERY good motivator. 

 

Whatever you use to motivate your crew, please be sure to use at least one from each category AND be sure to be consistent.  In addiiton, put anything new you enact IN WRITING.  This is critical.

 

Good luck!

 

 

Larry 

Obama to step down?

Obama to step down?  But, he's winning in every way!  He has more money, more delegates, more states and more of the popular vote.  True.  But unfortunately for him, that may not be enough.  He will probably still step down.  There are many other issues affecting him.  Here's the way things could play out.

DISCLAIMER - THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT TAKE A STANCE ON THE QUALIFICATIONS OF ANY CANDIDATE.  THIS IS TO SHOW HOW WE ALL DEAL WITH POLITICS IN OUR OWN LIVES.

First, Hillary will win the next couple of state primaries and get some momentum.  At that point the Democratic Party will rethink strategy.  They'll realize that Obama didn't win any of the critical states that will probably decide the November General Election (Florida, Michigan, Ohio & Pennsylvania). 

Not just that, the attacks on him grow stronger every month, and the full brunt of the Republican assault hasn't been released yet.  They haven't dug as deep as they can.  They WILL find more on Obama, his family and his associates.  This will be even more devastating to his campaign and then, by default, the Democrats chances for victory.

Hillary has her baggage too, but this has already been outed over the last 16 years of her being in the spotlight.  In addition, she has withstood the BEST the republicans can muster.  Obama's local campaigns as well as his senatorial campaign were relatively easy.  Presidential politics is when both parties give it all that they've got.  His campaign was not ready for this.

The Democratic leadership will realize that Obama may actually lose in November.  They'll believe that his campaign will probably collapse under the pressure of a concentrated attack and that he will NOT win the critical states. The Democrats should also realize that if they don't win this election they might as well just disband the party and build a new one from scratch. 

What will they do?  The super-delegates could just vote for Hillary.  But, if they did so, they'd look bad.  They would be "flip-floppers" and they would be voting "against the will of the people", even though that's what they were created for.

So, the super-delegates will offer Obama a combination of incentives to step down, such as, a prominent speech at the convention, a powerful senatorial committee chair, a possible cabinet post, etc.  If he refuses, they may just threaten him with a "back stab" vote at the convention, maybe even by "secret ballot".

If Obama goes to the convention leading and then his party still selects Hillary, his career is devastated.  If Hillary then wins the Presidency, his career is over.  But, if he accepts whatever incentive is offered and then drops out for "personal reasons" or for "the good of the party", he can easily run again in 2012 or 2016.  So, he will.

Does the Hillary campaign know that Obama may drop out?  Why else would they still be in this race when it is virtually impossible for Hillary to win?

So, why does this matter to us in our daily lives?  Because we are often in the same position.  It looks like we are going to: get the job, get the deal, get the sale, get the raise or get the promotion.  We are in the lead and no one can stop us, but in the end, someone does!

We must remember that the "organization" (be it a company, political party, association, etc.) will always do what is it feels comfortable with for the FUTURE, whether that is fair to us or not. And that feeling may be whimsical!  Being the best qualified or having the best record/experience for the job is ALWAYS secondary.  Having the organizational leadership see their future in you is PRIMARY.  Even though you may be senior, or have the best education or credentials, can they see their future success in you?  If not, your position may be short-lived.

A year ago Hillary was the assumed choice for the Democrats.  It felt right for success.  Nine months later is was Obama fever and he felt right for success.  That will probably change again.  Have any credentials changed?

In whatever organization you are working with, NEVER think that your position is safe.  It isn't.  You must constantly show your FUTURE value.  What you did in the past is nice, but what you can achieve in the future is what the organization cares about.  Whether asking for the deal, a job, a raise, a promotion, a sale, never think that you deserve it or that you have earned it.  They don't care.  What will you do in the future?  Credentials and experience are very important.  They simply aren't always enough.  In the long run, making them see future success in you will always benefit you more.

Larry

I Love You

"I love you!"  That's what everyone wants to hear from their customers.  But how do we get that feeling?  How do we get our clients to love us.  Give them great service, right?  Nope!  They still complain and may even leave for another vendor.  Is there a process?

Well, we must NOT assume that being polite and replying to requests quickly is the answer.  That's nice, but not the answer.  How many times have you jumped through rings of fire for your client just to have them want more!  That's the trite drivel that is taught in dozens of books and most customer service classes, but that doesn't make it right.  That does make those books and classes profitable!  A valuable attribute, however, that doesn't help us.  So, what to do?

One (BEFORE THE INITIAL MEETING)- When you first approach your client, approach them as an expert.  This means treating the entire process like it is an equal and fair exchange and NOT like they are doing you a favor by "giving" you the work.  This requires a serious attitude change for many of us, which unfortunately cannot be accomplished on a blog!  In any case, for those of you not there yet, remember that your prospect is missing the time, resources and/or expertise that you have, otherwise they wouldn't be talking to you.  So, you are filling a need.  No favors are being done here.  Embracing this idea will help you project your power effectively and help them respect your benefits.

Two (DURING YOUR PITCH) - Be clear about the BENEFIT that they are going to get, NOT the details of what you are going to do!  Too often we spend time "justifying" our work/price by showing or telling the prospect all the work we are going to do.  At their core, they don't care at all!  They care about the result. If we don't OVER emphasis the result, they wind up judging us on the work/time instead.  This is always bad.  One - customers don't like paying for your time, they like paying for results . Two - if they pay for your time/work, you are creating an "Employee" situation and many times they will begin to micro -manage and find problems.  Nope!  You are not the expert anymore! They are!  You're just another of their employees.  In fact, you're an expensive one that they they need to get the maximum from! So, avoid this by pushing BENEFITS, not activity!

Three (THE FINAL PRODUCT) - Ensure that you provide them with at least the STATED BENEFIT.  Well, duh, right?  Wrong!  Many times we do not!  Instead we give them lots more on another arena.  Usually one that they didn't even ask about, but we thought we'd "take car of them."  They wanted A, B and C.  We gave them A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I and J.  Look at all they got!  They should be happy right?  Nope!  They say what happened to C?  We say but you got D,E,F,G,H,I and J!  They are unhappy and want us to do C for free!  So, DO NOT do ANY EXTRA, until you complete the minimum.  You will NOT get bonus points unless you complete the minimum.

Four (DURING SERVICE/DELIVERY)- Verbally paint a picture of their success.  Use success stories of other clients, invoking social proof.  This pre-dispossess them to success.   Also, if you need to give them bad news, be sure to also have good news with it. AND ALWAYS END ON GOOD NEWS and/or a solution.  Bad normal example "I'm so sorry.  This is totally my fault.  We are going to be two days late.  The XYZ segment is trashed.  I hope this doesn't totally destroy your schedule."  Way better example - "The XYZ segment will be delayed.  This will push the schedule back two days.  But it will ensure that this is perfect.  You'll get the same benefit and the segment will be exactly what you need, perfected to your specs."  In addition, if you have to say you are sorry, see the "I Hate You!" Blog from March.

Five (END GAME)- Now do an awesome job.  As long as you followed 1-4, you can OVER-DELIVER and blow them away with how wonderful you are.  Here's a very important piece.  Once they have received your product/service and are happy, ask for a referral. If they pass you on to someone else, they will naturally sing your praises and say how they LOVE YOU!

Larry